Here is a culled version of an article that once appeared in Readers Digest. It is more orientated towards the U.S., but the majority of things are universal.
We asked pilots from around the world to give us straight answers about maddening safety rules, inexplicable delays, the air and attitudes up there, and what really happens behind the cockpit door. What they told us will change the way you fly.
I’ve been struck by lightning twice
Most pilots have. Airplanes are built to take it. You hear a big boom and see a big flash and that’s it. You’re not going to fall out of the sky. –Airplane pilot for a regional US carrier
You may not be getting the airline you paid for
You may go to an airline website and buy a ticket, pull up to its desk at the kerb and get onto an airplane that has a similar name painted on it, but half the time you’re really on a regional airline. The regionals aren’t held to the same safety standards as the majors: their pilots aren’t required to have as much training and experience, and the public doesn’t know that. – Captain at a major US airline.
If you’re a nervous flier, book a morning flight
The heating of the ground later causes bumpier air, and it’s much more likely to thunderstorm in the afternoon. – Jerry Johnson, LA pilot. Don’t miss these 5 ways to make long-haul flights more bearable.
The smoothest place to sit is often over or near the wing
The bumpiest place to sit is in the back. A plane is like a seesaw. If you’re in the middle, you don’t move as much. – Patrick Smith, airplane pilot and author of Cockpit Confidential. Learn more about how seat comfort will evolve in the future of flight.
Sit in the back if you’re always cold
The general flow of air in any airplane is from front to back. So if you’re really concerned about breathing the freshest possible air or not getting too hot, sit as close to the front as you can. Planes are generally warmest in the back. – Tech pilot at a regional US airline.
There’s a reason you can’t use your phone
Well, what can happen is 12 people will decide to call someone just before landing, and I can get a false reading on my instruments saying that we are higher than we really are. – Jim Tilmon, retired American Airlines pilot.
Listen when I tell you to put your laptop away
We don’t make you stow your laptop because we’re worried about electronic interference. It’s about having a projectile on your lap. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to get hit in the head by a MacBook going 200 miles per hour. And we’re not trying to ruin your fun by making you take off your headphones. We just want you to be able to hear us if there’s an emergency. – Patrick Smith.
Turbulence is not the problem
Pilots find it perplexing that so many people are afraid of turbulence. It’s all but impossible for turbulence to cause a crash. We avoid turbulence not because we’re afraid the wing is going to fall off but because it’s annoying. – Patrick Smith.
Being on time is more important than getting everyone there[In the United States], the Department of Transportation has put such an emphasis on on-time performance that we pretty much aren’t allowed to delay a flight anymore, even if there are 20 people on a connecting flight that’s coming in just a little late. – Commercial pilot from North Carolina.
You’ll never hear this phrase
You’ll never hear “One of our engines just failed.” What they’ll say instead: “One of our engines is indicating improperly.” (Or more likely, they’ll say nothing, and you’ll never know the difference. Most planes fly fine with one engine down.) You’ll also never hear, “Well, folks, the visibility out there is zero.” Instead they’ll say: “There’s some fog in the area.” – Patrick Smith.
The truth is, we’re exhausted
Our work rules allow us to be on duty 16 hours without a break. That’s many more hours than a truck driver. And unlike a truck driver, who can pull over at the next rest stop, we can’t pull over at the next cloud. – Captain at a major US airline.
This is why you get sick after flying
Most people get sick after travelling not because of what they breathe but because of what they touch. Always assume that the tray table and the button to push the seat back have not been wiped down, though we do wipe down the lavatory. – Patrick Smith. While you’re at it. can you guess what’s the biggest germ culprit at the airport?
Driving is WAY scarier than flying
People always ask, “What’s the scariest thing that’s ever happened to you?” I tell them it was a van ride from the Los Angeles airport to the hotel, and I’m not kidding. – Jack Stephan, US pilot.
Is travelling with a baby in your lap safe?
No. It’s extremely dangerous. If there’s any impact or deceleration, there’s a good chance you’re going to lose hold of your kid, and he becomes a projectile. But the government’s logic is that if we made you buy an expensive seat for your baby, you’d just drive, and you’re more likely to be injured driving than flying. – Patrick Smith.
Keep your seatbelt on
Most of you wouldn’t consider going down the highway at 60 miles an hour without your seatbelt fastened. But when we’re hurtling through the air at 500 miles an hour and we turn off the seatbelt sign, half of you take your seatbelts off. But if we hit a little air pocket, your head will be on the ceiling. – Captain at a major US airline.
We don’t wear our hats in the cockpit, by the way
On TV and in the comics, you always see these pilots with their hats on, and they have their headsets on over the hat, and that always makes us laugh. – Joe D’Eon
There’s a good reason for everything we ask you to do
We ask you to put up the window shade so the flight attendants can see outside in an emergency, to assess if one side is better for an evacuation. It also lets light into the cabin if it goes dark and helps passengers get oriented if the plane flips or rolls over. – Patrick Smith
Leave flip-flops in your luggage
I always tell my kids to travel in sturdy shoes. If you have to evacuate and your flip-flops fall off, there you are standing on the hot tarmac or in the weeds in your bare feet. – Joe D’Eon
We don’t dress up for cargo flights
One time I rode in the jump seat of a 747 freighter, which carries cargo, not passengers. As soon as the doors closed, the first officer went in back and put on a bathrobe and slippers. No kidding. He said, ‘I’ll be damned if I’m going to wear a tie for a bunch of boxes.’ – Tech pilot at a US regional airline